I'm tired right now.  Tired on the inside.

Ever had one of those things, be it a church, school subject, social circle or even work ethic that just doesn't work for you?  You want nothing more than to "shake the dust off your feet" and move on, but you realize you can't leave because it's the only thing you know of?  If you leave, you're denying yourself something that's vital for your life.  The only option is to stay, and give whatever it is you have another try.  Years go by and you eventually lose count of the chances you've given with no change whatsoever.

I've done this for so long with one particular area in my life (I hesitate to say which at the moment, maybe I will reveal this in another post.).  I am sick and tired of going to back to something I know does.not.work.  Unfortunately, I don't know where to go or turn for something better.  Giving more chances to something I know discourages me more than builds me up is something I refuse to do.  It's wearing down on my soul and I don't know how much more I can take.  I'm stuck, and I just want to be free to leave one particular area behind so I can discover new wonderful God could have in store for me.

This feeling of weariness, helplessness and discouragement got to me today, and I couldn't express myself any other way than by crying.  In fact, I can't think of any other way to express how I feel.  I'm a very visual person, so maybe these pictures will give you an idea of how I feel.