Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I turn my light on an jot something down.  I wrote this one last night.
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Last night, chills similar to those I got in another time and place ran through my body as I watched this.  In a way, time stood still for about 3 minutes.

 I am seeing this opening day at *12:01am!

*12:01am is what most opening/premiere night tickets have written on them, hence the specific time. ;)

I'm tired right now.  Tired on the inside.

Ever had one of those things, be it a church, school subject, social circle or even work ethic that just doesn't work for you?  You want nothing more than to "shake the dust off your feet" and move on, but you realize you can't leave because it's the only thing you know of?  If you leave, you're denying yourself something that's vital for your life.  The only option is to stay, and give whatever it is you have another try.  Years go by and you eventually lose count of the chances you've given with no change whatsoever.

I've done this for so long with one particular area in my life (I hesitate to say which at the moment, maybe I will reveal this in another post.).  I am sick and tired of going to back to something I know does.not.work.  Unfortunately, I don't know where to go or turn for something better.  Giving more chances to something I know discourages me more than builds me up is something I refuse to do.  It's wearing down on my soul and I don't know how much more I can take.  I'm stuck, and I just want to be free to leave one particular area behind so I can discover new wonderful God could have in store for me.

This feeling of weariness, helplessness and discouragement got to me today, and I couldn't express myself any other way than by crying.  In fact, I can't think of any other way to express how I feel.  I'm a very visual person, so maybe these pictures will give you an idea of how I feel.

I saw the following movie today...

And it was an amazing piece of brilliance! Why? Keep reading for an explanation.

I could explain the plot via pictures and my own words but before you read further, check out the trailer...


Ok, now that you get the basic idea of the story, I can give you my take on it.  Like I said before, it was brilliant! Not only did I appreciate the representation of "steampunk" throughout the movie...oh, what's "steampunk" you might ask? I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure how to explain it.  The main component of anything "steampunk" though involves machines, and in particular early industrial machines.  Clocks and their works are almost always present in a "steampunk" theme.  My best advice for knowing more about "steampunk" is to Google it.

Alrighty, back to Hugo.  The film itself is beautiful.  I personally love movies that are set in eras ranging from the 1920's-50's.  They contain an old Hollywood glamour that is so often lost in most modern day movies.  Everything from the colors, costumes, sets, and props was just fantastic.



While the film itself was beautiful, even more so was the simplicity and joys of life displayed in the film.

While I am a hard working college/theatre major student whose brain is getting ready to go into a crash course of RESTANDRECOOPERATION, I refuse to just sit around and let this blog kind of...well...die.

Hence why I am going to document some Christmas Adventures that I am determined to have over this lovely Winter Break! And I AM going to have them!

Here's some kick starter events that took place today (or for those of you who are all into the correct wording...Here's my freaking Prologue.)

1.) Flight delayed an hour and twenty minutes, so me and my friend wandered around town for an extra 45-hour doing absolutely nothing.  Ok, we listened to music, drank coffee, and grabbed some almonds at a store, BUT nonetheless it was very nice indeed not having to rush to the airport. :)

2.) Losing my headphones and having the joy of spending $24 on a new pair at the airport.  Now I always buy the same brand of headphones (which the airport just happened to have), and they usually cost $15, so I was surprised by the price-i-ness.  I later discovered why they were so expensive.  They have a built in voice detector/music control on the wires.  For a geek/techie, this is an awesome thing! I'm really going to enjoy these headphones! =D

3.) Trying to look somewhat dignified and not really embarrassed walking through the airport carrying my duffle bag WITH my dad.  Oh, don't get me wrong.  My dad behaved himself, as most father's do with their daughters ;), but my bag turned out to be so heavy, even HE couldn't carry it by himself.  I usually pack all my stuff in two massive army duffle bags.  I only bring ONE home for Christmas break. The first thing my dad says as we are carrying this thing to the car is "Man, I hope we don't take someone out with this thing!"  I have no clue if people saw us, but I'm sure it was a royal trip! ;)

4.) Walking in the door and seeing my house totally decked out for Christmas and smelling the awesome **hors' de vours my mother had prepared for dinner.  Actually one of the best sights in the world to a college student is a fridge and pantry stocked to the hilt full of goodies, especially CHRISTMAS goodies! =D

5.) Finding my sister's Lighstaber on my desk in my room.  *Wiggles eyebrows up and down and grins* Merry Christmas to me!!! *Insert Lightsaber noise here*

Ok...maybe this wasn't quite the Prologue you were expecting, but hey, I am no C.S. Lewis, Tolkien or the person who wrote "Twas the Night Before Christmas"...Heck, I don't think I'm even a Dr. Seuss.

Anyway, you get the idea! This is just merely a taste of some of the wonderfulness and giggles that greet me when I arrive home for Christmas! =D

Now for a confession..............................

I am a hard working college student/theatre major, I must therefore crash (though I shall not burn) and sleep for at least two days before more Christmas Adventures can begin.

Having said that, I am on my way to some R+R.

Love to all!!

**That word is an attempt at me trying to spell OR-DERVES the French way.  I took French last year and it was a not so great attempt at me trying to "expand my horizons while at college".  And in case you are wondering, YES I passed the course...I did NOT however say with flying colors. ;)

I am hopeless romantic.  Not in the sense that I'm the typical "Snow White, Cinderella Wannabe" who's waiting for Prince Charming.  No.  My romantic mind has always been and will be drawn to the magical, beautiful and glorious world of Fantasy.

When I was about ten or eleven, my dad read The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien aloud to me.  It was the first time I had encountered a real fantasy realm, one with a deep historical background so tangible, it was hard to believe that it wasn't real.  Like any other kid, I proceeded to read The Lord of the Rings, after finishing The Hobbit.

This one story, The Lord of the Rings, has defined my life in so many ways.  To list all of them would be almost impossible, because this story touches my life on a multitude of levels.   Naturally, I have good memories associated with the books, the movies and soundtracks, memories which no dark cloud could ever cover.  The memories are but a small factor in comparison to what makes the story real.

What's real to me is the adventure...the trials...the dark forces at work...the heroes rising from unlikely places...the struggles of relationships...the fears and doubts...the betrayals...the lies...the truths...the beginning...and the end.

For as long as I can remember I have been searching for Middle Earth, or a world like it.  I've looked for a bridge, maybe even something like a Wardrobe, that could possibly connect my world to another.  I've gone looking for adventure, be it in my head, heart or even on the streets, and at school.  I've tried to find a problem to fix, in which I might be the key or hero and solve everything. Even though no battles with swords, horses and arrows exists, I still looked for them. So many times I strained my ears to hear that "still small voice" telling me of my destiny or what I should do in dark moment. I've taken various trinkets in my hands and hoped they held some secret, magical power that would change my life. For years, I searched, and searched for a Samwise...but never found them...

I was a hopeless adventurer with no world meant for adventure.  For so long, I threw myself into a myriad of fantasy books because they were what I believed was real.  The worlds I read about, the people, the struggles, were real, they were just hiding, and I needed to find them.  Of course, like I said before, I looked, but never found them.  The reason I never found them, wasn't because they didn't exist...It was because I was just looking in all the wrong places.

The adventure world doesn't lie in a book hidden away somewhere in a dusty library, it lies here in this world.  The battles, small voices, the fears and doubts, the callings they all exist! They just look different.  I can say this because recently, I have found those, well, for lack of a better phrase "fantastical moments" . They totally took me by surprise and came in a form I least expected.  Seriously.  I'll try and tell you some of them.

Last week a couple of friends were supposed to pick me up from the airport.  While I was waiting at the curb I heard the following words inside my head "YOU NEED TO PRAY FOR YOUR FRIEND'S SAFETY."  I did a double take, but without questioning, I prayed for my friend's safety.  As I waited out in the cold, rainy weather, I got the feeling that something was out of place, or that something was going to happen.  Two minutes later, I got a text from one of my friends saying they had been "slightly delayed" and would be there soon.   I don't know exactly how, but when I read the words "slightly delayed", I translated it as "something happened with the car." After looking out at the weather again and seeing the rain, something deep inside me said "there's been a car accident".  Of course I asked myself..."My friends?" Without even an answer, I knew that it was my friends.  Five minutes later my phone buzzed.  It was one of my friends.  They had been in a car accident.

The still small voice exists.  LISTEN FOR IT.

I faced a fear this week.  It's not a fear like "I'm going to jump off a bridge."  To some it would appear small, but it was big thing for me.  I fear getting hurt, and I also fear being on the outside of things and hearing the word "No." I had to make a choice this week in which I could walk into a situation where the outcome would be the answer "no".  I wrestled with this for quite sometime.  Would it be better to not go into battle and remain safe from a distance, or should I participate and try once again knowing that the outcome could be very well the thing I fear most.  Aesop once said "It is hard to be brave some a safe distance."  So I decided to enter the field, and see what happened.  To say the outcome was a dissapointment would not be truthful.  I didn't hear the word "yes" in fact, I heard "no".  One thing is for sure though, I walked into battle strong, and confident and even with the outcome I LEFT stronger and more confident.  I proved to myself that the word "no" has no power over me and just because one person may say it, it doesn't define who I am, or what I will do with my life.

I drew my sword and fought back a monster threatening to drive me back into the pit of darkness.  I stood my ground and the beast coward in fear, not me.

One last thing...I found a Samwise.  If you've read The Lord of the Rings, then you know that sentence doesn't need any kind of explanation or elaboration.  That's just how amazing the character of Samwise Gamgee really is.

The adventure is REAL!! It doesn't look like fantasy novel, but if you slow down just for one moment and turn to look for it in a different direction...you will find it.