Showing posts with label deep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep. Show all posts
Hear Myself Think
Another late night ramble by yours truly. Enjoy. :)
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People might say one’s crazy for calling the top of a sky scraper “the one place you can hear yourself think.” Um, if you’ve lived in a city before then you know for a fact it’s not crazy, in fact, it’s not only logical, but CORRECT. There really aren’t any places within a city that you can get away from the noise. For example, here are some not so good options.
One, your own house/apartment. Even though the daily hustle and bustle is blocked out, why would you want to hear yourself think there? Come on, the place where you so call “dwell” is a major distraction when you’re trying to organize your brain. Your brain can often start a thought process, but it will end up wanting to watch TV, eat a snack, facebook stalk people, whatever. Bad idea.
Two, coffee shop or restaurant? Nope. Can you guess why? That’s right. The moment you get deep into thought a familiar but unwelcome at the moment face shows up. Before you know it, the whole world has followed you and does not only decide to sit down at the table you oh so discretely chose way off in the corner, but has the nerve to ask “So what’s been on your mind lately?” Bite me.
Three, the park in the center of town is nice, but still is you guessed it, is in the middle of a city. Plus you have to constantly be aware of your surroundings otherwise you’ll get run over by a biker, runner or heaven forbid, you’ll stumble upon awkward romantic couples trying to find that “private place.”
The only possible way you can get away from all the noise and people is to get high above it all. In this case, that’s the top of a skyscraper. And that’s where I am currently sitting.
Nightfall is the ideal time to come up here because the city transforms into another universe. The air is cooler, the noise is quieter, the smell is sweeter, and the lights shinning off of all the other buildings make you feel like you’re actually sitting amongst the stars. It’s peaceful, and I love it.
Now I can finally hear myself think. The twinkling lights and cool breeze get my thoughts moving, and I can connect dots that I haven’t been able to get for days.
Ah...You want to know what I’m thinking about don’t you? Well you’ve come this far, I guess I can give you a little glimpse of what’s going on inside this noggin of mine. Ever had one of those moments where you felt you were just out of place? Er, let me rephrase that. It’s kind of like, you were apart of something and then you realized you weren’t needed? It didn’t necessarily make you feel bad, hurt or even shunned, it just felt...weird? Yeah well, that’s what I’m thinking about. More like sorting it out is the thing. I’ll sort it out, it’s nothing really.
All I care about right now is that I am the only one at the top of this building and no one can bother me. I wish I could describe what I feel when I look across this city I’ve come to love and call home. It’s a warmth that’s glorious and it brings back so many memories. The warmth is like hot water though, it feels good at first but if it gets too hot it hurts. What I mean is, this place has a special place in my heart, and it if it’s taken away from me, I don’t think I could bear it. It would hurt too much.
Gah, I’m off track, that’s what my mind does when I can actually sit down and think about what’s going on.
I’ll be up here for awhile, so please don’t wait up for me. No, I won’t stay up here all night, although that’s so tempting. I just need to stay up here long enough to hear myself think.
4:11am
Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I turn my light on an jot something down. I wrote this one last night.
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4:11am was what the clock on my phone read as I rolled over and checked the time. My body woke me up and told me that I stupidly drank too much liquid before bed. Oh well, nature calls I guess.
Stumbling out of my room I walked to the bathroom, and flipped on the light switch. Like everyone else who walks into a bathroom, I saw the first thing that anyone see’s; their own reflection in the mirror. I stared into my slightly pink eyes which clearly had sleep written all over them, and I remembered something. I’d been dreaming about five minutes ago.
The dream was beautiful that much I knew. But I couldn’t remember what I was dreaming about. Jumbled up images and emotions were all I could grasp as I tried to recall exactly what happened in the dream. It was too difficult to piece them together, and my heart sank. Dreams are one of the few ways I can literally escape my own world for a time, and let my mind and heart wander in a way they can’t in reality.
I was about proceed with the reason why I’d come into the bathroom in the first place when something caught my attention. My eyes didn’t look normal. There was a certain glow to them I didn’t recognize. They seemed to still hold some remnants of my dream, so I stepped closer to the mirror to take a look. Well what do you know? They were glowing softly.
I stared very hard into my own reflection’s eyes hoping to find my dream hidden somewhere inside. Nothing was popping out though, no faces, places or even a time. That’s when it hit me. I was waiting for my dream to playback at me like a movie in a theatre. Dreams don’t work that way though. They make you work to remember them. You don’t recall dreams by conjuring up images within it. No, you must recall the feeling the dream gave you. From there the dream should unravel.
It made sense. There was a slight hesitation though. As we all know, dreams have the ability to make us feel more deeply than we can in the real world. Why? Because they bring to life those unspoken desires, the ones you can’t put into words that lie sleeping somewhere deep within our hearts. When they awake, our souls are covered in a blanket of emotion we can’t understand. Happy, sad, complete, joyful, excited, heartbroken, amazed...Feeling so much at once can make you feel vulnerable.
Vulnerable.
That was my hesitation. In order to fully recall my dream, I would have to stare beyond the surface of my hazel-green eyes, and drop the barrier that kept my reality and my dreams apart. I would have to be made vulnerable, and merge my real self, with that of my dreams.
Putting all hesitations aside, I leaned forward and stared down my own reflection. My gaze was peaceful at first, until I felt my brow furrow in frustration. Nothing was happening. I kept on starting though, determined to break through. It was then that I realized that my reflection was now doing something different. My reflection’s face was peaceful...and smiling. According to the rest of my body, my face was currently contorted in frustration, it wasn’t smiling. I wanted to mimic myself in the mirror but I couldn’t figure out how. Then reflection gave me the answer.
She blinked, then smiled.
Another thing I forgot to mention, dreams are not seen with the eyes of a human. They are seen with the eyes of the heart. Which meant, I had to close my eyes. Giving up my human sight was the last step in letting go of everything familiar, and succumbing to blissful universe of a dream.
Breathing slowly, I closed my eyes.
And remembered everything.
Simply Deep
I saw the following movie today...
And it was an amazing piece of brilliance! Why? Keep reading for an explanation.
I could explain the plot via pictures and my own words but before you read further, check out the trailer...
Ok, now that you get the basic idea of the story, I can give you my take on it. Like I said before, it was brilliant! Not only did I appreciate the representation of "steampunk" throughout the movie...oh, what's "steampunk" you might ask? I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure how to explain it. The main component of anything "steampunk" though involves machines, and in particular early industrial machines. Clocks and their works are almost always present in a "steampunk" theme. My best advice for knowing more about "steampunk" is to Google it.
Alrighty, back to Hugo. The film itself is beautiful. I personally love movies that are set in eras ranging from the 1920's-50's. They contain an old Hollywood glamour that is so often lost in most modern day movies. Everything from the colors, costumes, sets, and props was just fantastic.
While the film itself was beautiful, even more so was the simplicity and joys of life displayed in the film.
Have you ever noticed that most childhood films have a depth that others do not? The storyline, characters, events and even words said often catch our attention and make us stop and think..."Woah...I need to have that mindset more often." Hugo did just that. Here are two particular things that stood out to me.
One, childhood innocence and faith is something you CHOOSE to lose. Now days, a lot of people blame the world for our loss of innocence. We can no longer think purely like a child because of the dark veil the world holds for us as we grow older.
I believe that statement to be incorrect. Yes, unfortunately, we will encounter things in this world that make us grow up. But just because we will meet the face of unkindness does not mean it has to rule our lives.
You can still believe in the good in this world because it exists within that dark veil. It comes in the form of a smile, a hand to hold, an adventure to be had with a friend, an unexpected gift, belief in the unseen, hope for the future, and faith in a greater power that makes all things work together for good. Hold onto the things that are simple, the things you loved as a child! Read your favorite storybook, laugh and giggle at nothing on a summer's day, go on an adventure! Don't see the bad in everything, see the good.
Hugo: Want to go on an adventure?
Isabelle: Yes! *Later on* You know, we could get in a lot of trouble for this.
Hugo: *Smiles as he picks a lock on a door* That's how you know it's an adventure!
Two, Hugo addresses a question all of us ask ourselves: What is my purpose in life?
The question of one's purpose is a very personal thing to address. Everyone desires to be loved, praised, and acknowledge for something they accomplished in their life. Authors want to be known for their written works, artists for their creations, kings for the leadership, soldiers for their heroic deeds, the list goes on.
Nothing burdens the heart and soul more than feeling left behind in trying to find your purpose in life. Watching others achieve and find their paths is of course wonderful, but there is a pang of grief that your heart feels when yet again, it's not you that has found that amazing sense of accomplishment. You feel lost, unworthy and useless. Eventually you can't help but wonder if you even have a purpose in life. You ask "Am I good for something? Or nothing at all?"
The truth is, you ARE good for something! In fact, you are good for a lot of things, most of which you haven't even discovered yet. I've often wondered about my purpose in life. Sometimes I think I've found it, but then whatever it is I've found seems to fade into the background with all the OTHER things I think I'm meant to do in life. I think we are called to do a lot of things with our lives.
To strive only for that "one moment" that defines our very existence almost seems to be doing ourselves a disservice. Do you really want to live for that "one big thing" that makes you feel accomplished? Or, would you rather achieve small consecutive goals/discoveries over an extended period of time that build your character? Remember, it is often the smallest victories that have the biggest and most significant impact in your life.
My favorite moment in the movie was when Hugo and his friend Isabelle are standing in the top clock tower overlooking the city of Paris. Isabelle asks the question about people's purpose in life. Hugo's response is something I will never forget. It went something like this:
"Did you know that when machines are made, they come with the exact number of parts they will need and ONLY those? No extra parts are needed. Sometimes I think life is like a machine. If you are a part of the machine, then you must have some purpose in life. I mean, you're here aren't you?"
Hugo has been added to my list of favorites. Please go see it, I know you'll love it!
Keep it simple, keep it real.
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