The Artistic Underground: warm

Showing posts with label warm. Show all posts

Posted by Amy G. In: adventure, beloved, deep, dreams, heart, tired, warm, weary, wishful thinking

4:11am

Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I turn my light on an jot something down. I wrote this one last night.
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4:11am was what the clock on my phone read as I rolled over and checked the time. My body woke me up and told me that I stupidly drank too much liquid before bed. Oh well, nature calls I guess.

Stumbling out of my room I walked to the bathroom, and flipped on the light switch. Like everyone else who walks into a bathroom, I saw the first thing that anyone see’s; their own reflection in the mirror. I stared into my slightly pink eyes which clearly had sleep written all over them, and I remembered something. I’d been dreaming about five minutes ago.

The dream was beautiful that much I knew. But I couldn’t remember what I was dreaming about. Jumbled up images and emotions were all I could grasp as I tried to recall exactly what happened in the dream. It was too difficult to piece them together, and my heart sank. Dreams are one of the few ways I can literally escape my own world for a time, and let my mind and heart wander in a way they can’t in reality.

I was about proceed with the reason why I’d come into the bathroom in the first place when something caught my attention. My eyes didn’t look normal. There was a certain glow to them I didn’t recognize. They seemed to still hold some remnants of my dream, so I stepped closer to the mirror to take a look. Well what do you know? They were glowing softly.

I stared very hard into my own reflection’s eyes hoping to find my dream hidden somewhere inside. Nothing was popping out though, no faces, places or even a time. That’s when it hit me. I was waiting for my dream to playback at me like a movie in a theatre. Dreams don’t work that way though. They make you work to remember them. You don’t recall dreams by conjuring up images within it. No, you must recall the feeling the dream gave you. From there the dream should unravel.

It made sense. There was a slight hesitation though. As we all know, dreams have the ability to make us feel more deeply than we can in the real world. Why? Because they bring to life those unspoken desires, the ones you can’t put into words that lie sleeping somewhere deep within our hearts. When they awake, our souls are covered in a blanket of emotion we can’t understand. Happy, sad, complete, joyful, excited, heartbroken, amazed...Feeling so much at once can make you feel vulnerable.

Vulnerable.

That was my hesitation. In order to fully recall my dream, I would have to stare beyond the surface of my hazel-green eyes, and drop the barrier that kept my reality and my dreams apart. I would have to be made vulnerable, and merge my real self, with that of my dreams.

Putting all hesitations aside, I leaned forward and stared down my own reflection. My gaze was peaceful at first, until I felt my brow furrow in frustration. Nothing was happening. I kept on starting though, determined to break through. It was then that I realized that my reflection was now doing something different. My reflection’s face was peaceful...and smiling. According to the rest of my body, my face was currently contorted in frustration, it wasn’t smiling. I wanted to mimic myself in the mirror but I couldn’t figure out how. Then reflection gave me the answer.

She blinked, then smiled.

Another thing I forgot to mention, dreams are not seen with the eyes of a human. They are seen with the eyes of the heart. Which meant, I had to close my eyes. Giving up my human sight was the last step in letting go of everything familiar, and succumbing to blissful universe of a dream.

Breathing slowly, I closed my eyes.

And remembered everything.

Posted by Amy G. In: beloved, happy, heart, warm

A Warmed Heart

As I currently sit on my lovely, soft warm bed surrounded by my two huge wolf stuffies (yes, I still sleep with stuffed animals), soothing music, I breathe out a happy sigh.

I find it interesting that even when you have a hard day, things ALWAYS look up, no matter how dark the situation may be. My day didn't start off so great. We are currently in the middle of tech for our One Acts Festival, of which I play the dual role of Director and Lighting Designer for two. Everything went smoothly for both my techs. The road leading to that smoothness had a quite a few bumps though. I mean what road doesn't right? Needless to say, there were moments where I didn't know what the heck I was going to do about a few things, but in the end, a solution presented itself.

Well...actually, the Father presented a solution. It was one of those moments I really thought I was not going to make it. Anxiety, sadness, fear, all the typical emotions gripped my mind and heart for a brief time, until I surrendered everything to the only One who provides a rescue. :) What a relief it was to know that, although hidden at the present time, a solution was on the horizon. Twenty minutes later, the sun rose, the choir sang and all was well. :)

From there everything went skyward. And now I am just thinking about some of the lovely, wonderful blessings that currently warm my heart. Here are some examples.

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Beautiful music reminding me that I am watched over constantly by a protective pair of eyes...

Recorded laughs and giggles from silly mishaps and awkward statements...

Cuddly stuffed animals...

Warm chocolately, pepperminty Christmas drinks from my favorite local coffee shop...

The smell of the Holidays...

Encouragement notes from a dear friend...

Pumpkin Spice muffins...

Boarding passes for a flight home...

The anticipation a family gathering...

Finding a really cool Kappa Delta Epsilon coin in the parking lot...

A favorite movie trailer...

Warm clothes fresh out of the dryer...

Hiding in the corners of Barnes and Noble and reading aloud childhood stories with a best friend...

Hugs and kisses from a beloved...

Saying "I love you" to someone you hold near and dear....and hearing it in return...